Foundations of Thriving Leadership
- The Elischer Foundation
- Feb 25
- 3 min read
In fundraising and leadership, resilience is often worn as a badge of honour. The ability to keep going, absorb pressure and navigate constant change can feel like the defining traits of success. But sustainable leadership is not about enduring stress — it’s about understanding it.
In this reflective and practical piece, TEF Mentor Sarah Tite — coach, fundraiser and experienced leader — explores the foundations of thriving leadership. Drawing on her own journey and the habits that have shaped how she shows up at work and at home, she shares three core tools she uses in coaching and mentoring, alongside a simple but powerful practice to help leaders slow down, respond thoughtfully and navigate challenge with greater clarity and confidence.
What do you do to manage stress?
A friend asked me this question recently as we discussed something she is going through in her personal life. I replied ‘Um… Urgh… I don’t know really… I exercise’ - not very profound I know!
However after a pause, as I am not always very good at answering in the moment, I did realise I am quite considered about how I look after my wellbeing and have been for years before I could have even put into words the benefits habits such as daily exercise, reading, journalling, napping, being mindful about what I eat and drink (herbal tea and wine) as well as finding ways to push myself out of my comfort zone have had on how I show up at work, and home.
How putting my own selfcare first helps me be a better leader, coach and mentor. It helps me handle challenge and change at work, enabling me to bring my whole self into each situation, which I can only do when I am able to take control of my thoughts and slow down my thinking so I can respond from a place of thoughtfulness rather than thoughtlessness.
How can we as leaders help our teams be more thoughtful?
As I considered this question in relation to a period of change at work and how I handle this today differs from 20 years ago, when I started my leadership journey, there are three foundational tools that I use across my coaching, mentoring and as a leader:
Hold a supportive space where the person can express their thoughts and feelings freely without fear of criticism. This includes asking questions that help to reveal truths that the person is unaware of at a conscious level. This space helps them discover skills, talents and abilities that they have already but were unaware of, helping to build their self-confidence.
Listen without judgment and reflecting, so they can check what have said to me and I can ensure have understood what they are wanting to express. Listening is not about just what is being said but how it is said and what is not said, helping them to be more self-aware of the impact past experiences may be having on how they respond today.
Impartial voice to either affirm or help reframe what they are thinking. Supporting them see a different perspective and gain a deeper understanding of the impact we have on others just by being ourselves. Helping them build better relationships and have more open communication which is at the heart of collaboration and innovation.
I will finish with my simple tool ‘Notice to Navigate’ that I share most often with clients to help slow down their thoughts, so they can control how they respond and act in the moment, whether this is at a meeting, during a difficult conversation or when someone says, ‘Quick question?’ at 4.58pm!
Noticing our response to a situation, particularly if it is unexpected, helps us be more self-aware of how our thoughts create our actions, and how past experiences may be impacting on how we feel and act today:
NOTICE your thoughts Are you angry? Sad? Frustrated? observe those emotions, as they pass through your mind and body.
NAME these as feelings, not reality. When critical thoughts arise, they’re typically born from bigger, underlying emotions.
NURTURE by asking yourself: “What would my most supportive friend say to me at this moment?”
NAVIGATE towards best next step. Pause and ask: “What’s one step I can take to improve this situation and take some of the emotion away?”
Over the next week I invite you to put this tool into action, maybe share it with your team, so that whenever you feel emotions rising – a flash of anger, a knot in your stomach or tears rising to the surface to help you unpick what is going on, calm the feeling before working out a solution to help you navigate your emotions with more confidence. Notice the difference it makes to how you act in the moment.
Comments