Leading, parenting and progressing: lessons from mentoring

One of our alumni, Jenny Peat - Director of Income Generation and Engagement at Phyllis Tuckwell Hospice Care and Trustee at Momentum Children’s Charity, shares her experience of mentoring, and her top tips for balancing parenthood and leadership. 

Jenny Peat, former mentee

I joined The Elischer Foundation mentoring programme in 2021, at what was a pivotal point in my career. 

At the time, I was working as Head of Community and Events Fundraising during the pandemic — a period of huge uncertainty, particularly for events fundraising. While other areas of fundraising were beginning to regain their footing, events continued to feel stuck, impacted by years of deferrals, constantly changing protocols and, of course, mandatory Covid testing. 

Much of that period was focused on simply getting my team through the uncertainty and protecting as much income as possible. Like many leaders, my own development and longer-term goals had been quietly sidelined. 

As the sector slowly began to emerge into whatever the “new world” might look like, I finally had a moment to pause and reflect. I realised how little space I’d given myself to think about what I wanted next. 

Taking the leap into mentoring 

I’d heard about The Elischer Foundation through the sector and decided to take the plunge and apply. I was matched with my mentor, Amy Hutchings, who worked in a creative role at an agency — which initially surprised me. I’d assumed I’d be paired with someone working in the same fundraising discipline as me. 

In hindsight, this difference was exactly what I needed. 

Amy helped me lift my head up and look across the sector more broadly, giving me a fresh perspective on where I was, what I was good at, and where I wanted to be.  

Confidence, reflection and saying the hard things out loud 

There were, of course, practical elements to our mentoring conversations. We worked through challenges with a direct report, talked through an idea that had stalled, and explored whether a new job opportunity might be right for me. 

But what stayed with me most was the rebuilding of my confidence and reframing of my skills that I have taken away and forward into my career. Being able to say the tough bits out loud, allow someone to process those thoughts with me and then build a plan to change either my approach or my situation was invaluable. 

Mentoring gave me dedicated time each month to stop, reflect, and think intentionally about what I’d done and where I wanted to go next — something that’s incredibly rare in leadership roles. 

Leadership, family and bringing your whole self to work 

One of the biggest surprises was how much of our conversation wasn’t directly about my job. 

One of the most valuable topics we explored was how to plan for, and balance, having a family alongside progressing my career. Rather than treating those things as competing forces, Amy helped me see that I’m a whole person — and that I need to bring all of myself into whatever role I’m in. 

I had my daughter in 2023. Instead of this holding me back, I felt able to be clear about what I wanted and needed from work. I didn’t feel the need to quietly shuffle back into the sidelines, pretending that a life-changing event hadn’t happened. 

Instead, I took the leap into becoming a Director straight after maternity leave. 

I was clear about needing the right balance between work and family, and I trusted that my skills hadn’t disappeared overnight. Without the confidence and reframing I gained through the mentoring programme, I don’t know that I would have felt able to step into that moment in the same way. 

Balancing parenthood and leadership 

As a leader: 

1. Be clear in what you need – don’t be shy in asking for adjustments if it will mean that you are more effective. That could be compressed hours, flexible working, working from home. 

2. Parent loudly – Gone are the days when you had to hide the fact that you are a parent and apologise for having children. Talk about the balance, be upfront about why you need to leave early on a particular day. This goes for all caregivers. 

3. Know your rights – there have been changes in legislation which make asking for these things easier now. Make sure that you know what you are entitled to and check any organisational policies for any specific processes or entitlements too. 

4. Find a tribe – in any organisation and in the sector more broadly, there will be people going through the same experience as you. Finding somewhere to decompress/vent/share the trials and tribulations can be really helpful in managing the pressure and making sure you don’t feel so alone. 

5. Be authentic – authentic leadership is something that we talk a lot about and parenthood will fundamentally become a part of your story. Lean in to that. People appreciate when someone is human. Don’t hide your children or that part of your identity away for fear of judgement. If they were going to judge you for being a parent, they would judge you for any number of other things anyway! 

How can you help your teams balance parenthood as a leader: 

1. Ask them what they need – and don’t just ask once! Be open minded and creative about managing a new parent. As a sector, we rarely work 9-5, 5 days a week and so where we ask for flexibility from your team, they should expect some in return. 

2. Don’t make assumptions – never assume what someone will or will not do as a new parent. Ask them, be upfront and never make decisions on an assumption. Not only is it unfair, it is also unethical. 

3. Keep them in the loop – being on parental leave is a confusing time for many reasons (trying to keep a tiny human alive and look after yourself!) but it doesn’t mean that they stop being a part of the team. Send them updates at agreed times, keep them informed of important decisions and encourage them to use their (legally entitled) Keeping in Touch days. 

4. Let the little things go – if someone needs to change a working day or leave 30 minutes early but you know that they will make it up later on then let it go. Chances are that they are much more concerned about your reaction to the juggle and will go over and above compared to other members of your team. Easing the feeling that they are letting the team down will go a long way. 

5. Communicate with your whole team – where you are making concessions or adjustments, think about your whole team. If there are decisions that could affect their workload, be open and upfront (as far as you are able) about why you are putting these things in place. Communication is key and being fair, open and transparent will go a long way. 

   
   

A message to anyone on the fence 

If you’re considering applying to The Elischer Foundation mentoring programme, I would wholeheartedly encourage you to do so. 

It will bring you benefits far past the end of your time with your mentor and can set you up for success in ways that you may not be able to see today.